Damn Right: Kelis Has Booted Bill Murray From the Yard

Kelis, 44, and Bill Murray, 72, have broken up after a whirlwind romance, although neither one ever confirmed that they were dating. How many people actually remembered they were together over the summer? (Page Six)

This just in: Bob Barker has passed. He went peacefully. He was 99. Wherever he is, I hope the Plinko is good, and the dogs have been neutered and spayed. (NBC)

Rather than just paying the writers and actors who are striking for fair wages, the AMPTP has hired a crisis PR firm. - (THR)

Miley has grown (up) and she wants everyone to know it. - (Lainey Gossip)

John Stamos has grown (older) and he wants everyone to see it. - (EW)

Ryan Reynolds Fans Express Concern Over His Unexpected Birthday Tribute to Blake Lively - (Glamour)

Matthew McConaughey’s mom sounds like she was a real asshole to Camila Alves early on. - (Celebitchy)

SEE, former bosses? There are *health benefits* to being lazy sometimes! I was being lazy FOR MY HEALTH. - (Yahoo News)

Dating is hard. Flirting tips from a bartender might help. - (The Cut)

“The World Is Going Blind. Taiwan Offers a Warning, and a Cure.” I found this article fascinating. - (Wired)

Remember back when “going shopping” was fun, or at the very least wasn’t a soul-sucking trip of misery and annoyance? - (VOX)

I will never pass up an opportunity to celebrate the delicious, wacky allure of Parker Posey! - (GFY)

Biden Is Already Campaigning off an Abortion Clip From the Republican Primary Debate - (Jezebel)

Speaking of, that Ron DeSantis abortion story during the debate, what in the actual f*ck was he even babbling about and did he think that tale made any kind of sense? - (TMS)

Would the 14th Amendment keep Trump from holding office if he were (godforeffingbid) elected? - (Politico)

Again, I had to include two because, well, there were two pairs and how was I supposed to choose between them? I mean, COME ON! I’m not made of stone, people!

First up: Smiling sandbabies

These might actually be polar bears. Probably.